ANGER

Being angry is ultimately accompanied with the act of  blaming, needing to control,  and rejecting the way life really is.

Although ANGER has many faces, the emotion is the same with the same companions:  blame, control and rejection.

I admire those who take full responsibility for their own response to encounters which evoke anger.

I admire those who let go of all responsibility for others' actions which evoke anger.

I admire those who affirm the way life really is without judgment.

Yet the behavior of so many in today's world gives cause for the most intense expressions of anger.

A process for being the responsible one in these situations calls for new ways to understand and be compassionate.

I am working on this with due diligence. I have failed miserably and slowly am growing patience and understanding. The whole thing is a life lesson most of us are learning, day by day.

NURTURING

Recently I had some exploratory surgery.

Relatively non-invasive, the most difficult part was stopping the anti-coagulation meds which are critical to my ongoing well being. 

I left in the morning and returned in the afternoon.

Hillary, aka Abi-Tail, never left my side for the next three days as I recuperated in bed.

She followed me to the kitchen.

She followed me to the bathroom.

She never left except to take care of her own needs.

On the fourth day, I went outside for a brief relief trip.

When I returned she was right there at the door and stayed with me again wherever I walked.

Finally, on the fifth day, I took my daily walk again. 

When I returned, she was sound asleep on my bed.

She remained sleeping through the whole day and even into the night.

My poor little woman cat was exhausted from being there for me.

I learned from her mindful nurturing that assuming a in assuming a caretaker role

one must also take care of one's own needs.

Now, a week later, Hillary has resumed her usual high maintenance presence.

I will remember to take care of myself so I can be there for her.

This is love.

 

CHANGING

I do not care how others perceive me.

How they experience me is always a projection of themselves.

I do pay attention to how others react to me.

This provides feed back to my own communication  intentions.

This awareness provides room for changing.

I know I have anger and lots of hurt for my own inability to communicate when confronted by the insanity heaped on me by Uncle Dick's daughters. That will take a little more time for healing to be complete.

In the meantime, I am grateful to be reminded that sometimes displaced feelings show.

Changing and healing work together.

WALKING

Not wanting to let recent catastrophe pass by unnoticed,  I begin with awareness.

Awareness of the enormity of destruction has been overwhelming.

Accompanied by a connection to our collective unconscious suffering, I shut down emotionally.

I refuse to understand what has happened because my interpretation is not clear yet.

So I walk.

When I arrive at the path along the lake,  I walk with intention.

Breathing in, I say "Present miment".

Breathing out, I say "Peaceful moment".

This walk from one end to the other takes 20 minutes.
At the end, I turn toward the lake and continue walking on the dock.

At the end of this dock is a bench for momentary reflection.

I walk toward the bench in peace.

Anticipating deeper awareness.
.

GARDENING

I love growing fruit trees. I love home grown vegetables.

 I do not care to get down and dig in the dirt. So I have pots. 

Recently transformed the place where the boat was stored at the end of the driveway into a mulch covered potted plant butterfly garden.

Then  a torrential rain fell and unmercifully flooded the pots.. 

Some did not drain so I had to re pot them, making sure the new pots have drainage holes.

 Who knew?  The weather is either to hot and dry or too hot and wet. While there is a constant  - hot - the extremes are difficult to balance for the average home gardener. 

Gardening to be a spiritual exercise. Pouring energy into planting and nurturing seeds or sprouts, listening to what each needs in order to flourish,and  tending to them regularly is healing to the weary soul. 

I call this" gardening meditation". Being mindful of being present in the garden energizes growth of Self and plants. 

This us a view of a garden planted in North Carolina by a gardener who loves to dig in the earth.

BOUNDARIES

Someday on this planet there will be an alternative paradigm to protecting borders.
In today's world,  borders are up for grabs. They are not as clearly defined.
They are inhabited my both sides.
Communication is a necessary element to observing a peaceful coexistence.
Whether it be Palestine and Israel, Mexico and the USA,  or my next door neighbors and myself, the crisis is evident.
Borders can be shared without loss of self identity or responsibility for the well being of those spaces.
Bombing is not the solution.
Walls are not the answer.
Mudslinging solves nothing.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

Be gentle and solution oriented.  Not so easy in the Middle East or in the Southwestern USA.
But among neighbors, all it takes is respect and cooperation.

Is this so difficult?

Or perhaps the question is, "Why is this so difficult?"

WISTERIA

did you know that Wisteria is no different than a weed.

A vine with its delicate flower clusters, 

very much resembling bunches of grapes.

winds its way up trees and telephone poles.

Can be shaped to wind its way around a trellis,

its flowers hanging down from the trellis top.

Also able to be pruned into a bush,

it nevertheless stretches and grows,

always yearning to connect to a solid base

and wind around and around,

always reaching out and up.

The flowers are extremely sensitive to rain, 

withering and then blooming again

even more prolifically.

I, like the Wisteria, am sensitive,withering on occasion.

Like the Wisteria, I also am stronger when the rain has left

and the sun is shining again.

Like the Wisteria, growth is ongoing, reaching and rising with always extending. 

AVOCADO

Uncle Russ began growing this tree.

He placed toothpicks in its side to rest on the edge of a glass,

poured water to cover most of it.

Roots grew.

Sprouts bore leaves.

Finally, rich with roots and leaves, he planted it with soil in a pot.

He nurtured it as it grew for five years.

When it was about three feet tall, we planted it on the north side of the house.

It grew for five years showing no signs of bearing fruit.

It grew to be about twenty feet tall.

This year, 2017, the tree is chock full of tiny avocados.

Hopefully the weather will permit their maturation.

The lawn man warns that all the avocados may fall off, but next year there will be an abundant harvest.

BOUGAINVILLEA

Only recently

Much to my surprise

Did I learn that the colorful covering of thebougainvillea is not the flower.

It is a special kind of leaves called bracts.

A perfect and inconspicuous trio of flower blooms in the center of each pod of these bracts. The flower contains both male and female functions but must be cross-polinated in order to create seeds.

Butterflies, moths, and hummingbirds are attracted to the color of the bracts  and nectar of the flower.

The ecosystem needed for survival is complex and interdependent.

We humans benefit from the beauty of the bougainvillea vines - and from a healthy ecosystem.

Truth is as beautiful as the bougainvillea.

Please let the ecosystem survive the present  disregard.

Please cherish this promise  to thrive.

The flower is a product of interdependence honored deeply.

TOMATO

Uncle Dick grew tomatoes.
He grew many varieties of pepper, both hot and sweet.
We canned them, froze them, or gave them away.
We harvested and prepared them for a meal right from the garden.
He grew radishes and onions and beans and greens and peas and squash.
He grew corn and melons and garlic, too, long ago.
He probably grew, at one time or other, about everything there is to grow.

Nothing tastes better than a vine ripened tomato ( with a little bit of forbidden salt).

It is a fragile fruit.
It will split and soften, as it cooks in the hot sun.
Bugs, raccoons and squirrels love to eat a tomato -
Even a whole garden full if given the opportunity.

A fried green tomato on sliced white bread is a delicacy to a southern farmer.
A sectioned  ripe tomato in olive oil with chopped garlic and basil is a staple of and Italian meal.
A chopped tomato and jalapeno and garlic clove makes a tasty salsa.

Those gardening days are gone now.
The first tomato of the year is growing in a pot on the patio,
Along with the basil, some parsley, dill, and mint.

This earth has blessed those who will plant with fresh fruits and vegetables,
Enough to feed everyone,
Should we care enough to find a way.

Imagine the wonder released
When starving eyes behold
A first tomato growing in a garden
That, before the planting, was a barren patch of earth,

LOVE

This morning,
upon awakening,
before meditation'
I checked smart phone - not a usual pattern.
Deep Chopra was doing his daily podcast, from Israel.
He is promoting his new book on  the cosmic Self.
This morning the question was,
'If love can heal everything,
"Why can we not heal our biological selves?"
After a spin on the reality of love,
the answer, to summarize here, is,
"We can!"

LIFE

The angel wing begonia.

Brought from New York City.

Grew from a clipping.

Took ten years to bloom in Florida.

Bloomed every year for 15 years.

Then for no obvious nor justifiable reason it died.

Except for one leaf which appeared dead when I pruned the other stalks.

My hope was that they would all releaf.

Today I noticed the one stalk with the leaf which appeared dead,

It is growing.

Maybe, when a plant lives a prolific life cycle, it needs to die in order to grow again,

One leaf at a time.

Life. (sigh).

Just a tiny gleeful giggle while reflecting on this angel wing  begonia's Life.

CAMELIAS

This blooming camelia reminds me of my Junior prom.

My gown was just such a pink.

I felt  I was a beautiful girl.

An unusual self perception of my presence in the world.

I was shedding childhood in lieu of becoming a woman.

This camelia was an ealy bloomer in January or was it December?

Which ever month it was,  it was earlier than expected. 

Now,  February,  many camelias are blooming, as are azaleas, prickly pear, and citrus buds, to name a few.

Signs of Spring, these days, may be frozen out, and have to start over again in another month or two.

If that is the case, nevertheless, signs of Spring will return.

A village in full bloom is as beautiful as a Junior prom filled with young women in their ball gowns.

PROMISE

2017

7:20 am.

About 55°.

First sunrise of this year full of promises of love.

Birds and alligators say the night is past.

Fish jump clear out of the lake. 

A few auto engines pass up on the main drag.

Trusting sits gently in my heart again.

I have confidence that I am able to stand unafraid of the encounters ahead.

Living on this beautiful Lake with its ever changing sunrise  is nature's message from a history long and world wide perspective. 

SUNSET

That brief moment at the end of the day.when a dazzling sun's light
bathes the earth with sienna and a bright golden aura.

Sun never fails to set without breathing a promise of another sunrise
after a night of reflection from the moon - new or crescent or full.

Have faith.
The sun is present even in reflection,
even as it sets.

FOUNTAIN

Eating on the Atlantic Ocean.
Hotel Fountain has my full attention.

One container stands tall, continually overflowing.

The other hangs from a pole, fills up, tips over, and dumps out the water when full.

What does this say about the way life is?

Which am I more like?